The Good Vending Machine

Two months into my fellowship at Bethel New Life, and I've finally discovered the good vending machine. I say "good" because there are a number of vending machines on the campus where I work, most out of order and the rest stocked only with generations old snack foods (Andy Capp's Hot Fries? Seriously?). All of a sudden, now, I feel acclimated, like I am finally a part of this organization rather than a timid observer.Perhaps this is not a universal experience for fellows, but for me, things began very slowly; there was so much to pick up on, so much to learn that couldn't be explained in an hour-long orientation. I knew immediately that there were large gaps in my knowledge -- no one told me about Casual Fridays, which department had the best coffee (not mine), and the back exit that gets me to the bus stop two minutes faster. 


But more importantly, in a place like the Westside where there are decades of historical, political, and social factors all still informing the policies and work being done today, it can feel like an overwhelming task to try and match the experience and knowledge of my co-workers, many of whom were born and raised in West Garfield Park. I would be forced to grope blindly for understanding in my first meetings as others talked speedily about local ordinances and political figures, businesses and schools, and, worst of all, the dreaded non-profit acronyms. It felt not only like I didn't have all of the information, but that short of living in the community for the next forty years, I would always be playing catch-up.


But then, I found the good vending machine. It may seem trite, but to me, that discovery signaled a greater shift in my position at Bethel New Life. I realized that I wasn't the new kid anymore, that I recognized faces and understood the nuances of office politics. I had finally learned my way around: I piped up in meetings, floated solutions to problems, decided to work on things that meant something to me rather than waiting for an assignment from a supervisor. This confidence in my place here was formed out of all the things I learned along the way, bits of knowledge stumbled over as I made my way down Bethel New Life's hallways. And, when I have a tough day, I finally know where I can get my hands on some Raisinets.